Before I became a mom, I used to wonder how motherhood could possibly be overwhelming (mom burnout). I saw the cute outfits, the cuddles, the matching pajamas, the soft baby giggles. I thought love would automatically make everything easy.
It doesn’t.
It makes it worth it. But it doesn’t make it easy.
There’s a kind of exhaustion that comes with raising toddlers — especially more than one — that you can’t fully understand until you’re in it. It’s not just being tired. It’s being needed every single minute of the day. Someone is calling “Mum!” from the bathroom. Another is pulling at your leg. Someone is crying because their cup is the wrong color. And in between all of that, you’re trying to cook, clean, answer messages, maybe even work.
And somehow… you’re still expected to be calm.
You love them more than anything. That part is real. But some days, you feel like you’re running on fumes. You snap faster than you want to. You feel overstimulated. You crave silence so badly it almost hurts.
Sleep — something I used to take for granted — suddenly becomes gold. I didn’t realize how much broken sleep could affect my mood. When you haven’t rested properly in days, sometimes weeks, everything feels heavier. The tantrums feel louder. The mess feels bigger. The smallest inconvenience feels like the last straw.
You’re not a bad mom. You’re just tired.
I think about how our mothers and grandmothers did it. Many of them had people around — sisters, aunties, neighbors — a whole support system within reach. There was always someone to hold the baby while you took a shower or rested for a bit.
Today, especially here in Nairobi, many of us are doing this without that village. Yes, some families have nannies. But let’s be honest — it’s not always stable.
If you have a reliable nanny who genuinely cares for your children and stays long-term, you are blessed. In this city, nanny turnover is common, especially with kids under five. One day everything feels settled, and the next, you’re back to square one. Training someone new. Helping your children adjust again. Trying to trust again.
And sometimes, even when you treat someone well, pay fairly, and create a good working environment, they still leave. Not because you failed — but because people have their own lives, plans, and priorities.
Each change adds to the emotional load you’re already carrying.
Mom burnout doesn’t always look dramatic. It’s not always a breakdown. Sometimes it’s quiet. It’s sitting in the bathroom for five extra minutes just to breathe. It’s feeling touched-out by the end of the day. It’s scrolling on your phone late at night because you finally have silence — even though you desperately need sleep.
And then there’s the guilt.
The guilt for feeling overwhelmed.
The guilt for wanting space.
The guilt for not enjoying every second.
You can love your children deeply and still feel exhausted. Those two things can exist together.
If you have a supportive husband who steps in without being asked, hold onto that. If you have relatives who show up when you’re drained, appreciate them. Support doesn’t remove the hard parts of motherhood, but it makes them lighter.
Motherhood was never meant to be done alone. We were meant to have help. We were meant to rest. We were meant to share the load.
If you’re in a season of burnout right now, I want you to know this — you are not failing. You are not ungrateful. You are not weak.
You are human.
And raising tiny humans while trying to hold yourself together is one of the most demanding jobs in the world.
Be gentle with yourself. Ask for help when you can. Rest without apologizing for it. Because taking care of yourself isn’t selfish — it’s survival.
And a mother who feels supported, rested, and seen is not just happier — she’s healthier for her children too.
Read more
content on motherhood below:
https://lifestyle.co.ke/the-evolving-role-of-a-mother-in-modern-society/
